Guest Post by Jeff Somers, author of CHUM

Jeff Somers is here, celebrating the release of his latest book, CHUM. Please give him a warm welcome–and if you COMMENT you will be eligible to receive a copy of CHUM!

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I Contain Multitudes: Everything I Write is Speculative Fiction

As I pursue my goal of being recognized as the Most Published Author to Die ImagePenniless[1], I’m staring down my 8th published novel in September: Chum from Tyrus books. I’m not sure what genre I’d call it; a mystery? A dark comedy? MumbleMurder? Such things are for Marketers to decide. All I do is write until I fall asleep and then wake up and can’t remember where I am for three or four terrifying seconds. And all I can rely on in this life is the almost hostile levels of disinterest the world takes in my work[2].

Genre doesn’t matter anyway: Everything I’ve written since July 16th, 2002 has been Speculative Fiction anyway, because I created a multiverse. You think creating a multiverse is hard? Nah. Wait a sec … just did it again! And now I’m going to destroy that new multiverse just as the various intelligent potted plants and whales begin to ask each other what it’s all about then. Boom. I am Jeff, Destroyer of Multiverses. And intelligent whales and potted plants[3].

ImageAt the moment, that multiverse is largely in my head, right alongside plans for a water engine, some pretty righteous jazz music that will destroy minds worldwide if I ever have the energy and time to compose it, and several spec scripts for defunct and short-lived television shows including Sliders[4], Heroes, and Manimal. The only literary evidence of this multiverse is a slight crossover between my first published novel, Lifers, and Chum. But that’s just some shared minor characters. There’s also a slight scene overlap between Chum and an as-yet unpublished novel, but we’re still just talking about a shared universe here.

But the multiverse is there, because of an unpublished novel I wrote that involved multiple universes. And in that novel I tie all of my other together, because they’re all part of that multiverse. In some subtle way that maybe only I will ever be aware of (in the same way I am the only one aware of my guitar playing genius[5]), everything I’ve ever written is science-fictiony.

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[6]

 

ImageI hope I get the chance to publish all the books that will bring this together. It would be a shame if my legacy falls into the hands of someImageweb host who I pre-pay for 100 years of hosting before I die so I can put up my JEFF SOMERS UNRECOGNIZED GENIUS web site and then they take the site down after three months because I’m almost certainly going to die alone and in some sort of state-run mental institution (translation, no lawyers)[7]. 

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[1]This is sort of the literary EGOT.

[2]If anyone wants to pay me not to write, I am listening.

[3]Whoa, I think that Sizzurp is kicking in.

[4]I co-wrote a Sliders comic book. No, really: http://www.earth62.net/comics/bloodsplendor.htm

[5]GENIUS: http://youtu.be/_mQrfbvSuzo

[6]Yes, in one multiverse I am a highly paid basketball player. Yes I have been drinking. What is your point?

[7]Also possible: Dying alone in the gutter while wearing nothing but a clown costume, dying as part of a mass suicide timed with rendezvous with alien-piloted asteroid, dying alone and being eaten by the several dozen cats I have in my grim, stuffy apartment.

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Jeff Somers was born in Jersey City, New Jersey and regrets nothing. He is the author of the Avery Cates series of novels published by Orbit Books and The Ustari Cycle books Tricksterand Fabricator (Pocket Books). He sold his first novel at age 16 to a tiny publisher in California which quickly went out of business and has spent the last two decades assuring potential publishers that this was a coincidence. Jeff publishes a zine called The Inner Swine and has also published a few dozen short stories; his story “Ringing the Changes” was selected for Best American Mystery Stories 2006, edited by Scott Turow and his story “Sift, Almost Invisible, Through” appeared in the anthology Crimes by Moonlight, published by Berkley Hardcover and edited by Charlaine Harris. His guitar playing is a plague upon his household and his lovely wife The Duchess is convinced he would wither and die if left to his own devices.

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4 thoughts on “Guest Post by Jeff Somers, author of CHUM

  1. I admire you. I’m too lazy to create any multiverses. Or even an universe. That’s why I write contemporary romance. Less research LOL.

  2. Kudos to you for the commitment and energy to create multiverses. I struggle enough with a single sentence. And hopefully when you find yourself in that institution down the road, you still have lucid memories of your wonderful creations. Even if no one else believes you. And you get tazed a lot.

  3. Zany stuff these multiverses. Better you than me, Jeff. I’ll stick to the here and now…or maybe the here and then…or maybe the here and tomorrow. I still have one more book to write in my dystopian trilogy that takes place in 2057. Um…what exactly constitutes a multiverse?

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